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you do you


Out at London Pride, uncharacteristically. Around 1am, as you do, find myself in an intimate discussion with a stranger. Who leaps to what he imagines is my defence:

"What are you into?"

"Women, mostly."

"Oh right."

"It's a limited view, though. I wish I was more open."

"What? There's no such thing! You got to accept yourself!"

"Sure, but - I'm only attracted to like a tenth of the population; it would be objectively better to have a larger pool, and to see all of beauty."

"Hey, hey: stop it, you don't need to justify myself. You are you, so you do you. Don't do anyone else."

"That's a beautiful thing to say, and there's a lot of people in the world who really need to hear it. Not me, though."

"It's true for everyone! You'll only hurt yourself by not being yourself."

"No, though. Consider: monkeys like bananas and sex; humans like bananas, sex, and philosophy and sports. So the value space visible to the latter is -"

"- Look, you're not going to change by overthinking things. So skip it! I'm not questioning you!"

"But I often change by reasoning. Or often try. I don't want stock, reflexive acceptance. Challenging me when I am wrong or suboptimal is better than acceptance: you take me seriously; you give me actual help.

When I 'do' me, I justify myself to myself: I 'overthink'. In others this can be neurotic, self-sabotage. For me it is creation.

If you wanted to google it, there's a word for us: 'rationalist'. Only at home when taking a pickaxe to the walls, to see if they're actually solid."



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